I can't just sit and wait!!!

Today is CD 4 and all day yesterday I thought about whether or not I was going to take my soy that night. I can’t just sit here and do nothing. The idea drives me nuts. So I’m going to give in and take soy tonight. I’ll start at 200mg, since I O with Clomid at 100mg. I usually take the Clomid CD 3-9, so the soy will end up being CD 4-9 this month. This AF has been the worst. I absolutely feel like I am going insane. I cry everynight. Going through 7 cycles of Clomid with a doctor who thinks good things come to those who wait is enough to drive anyone bonkers. Everytime I ask about HSGs or p4s my RE is like, oh I think everything is fine there is no reason to do that stuff. So when I go to my new RE, if I find that there is anything wrong that is preventing me from getting pregnant, I am going to turn around and sue him for everything he has. I’m tired of wanting this more than anything in the world and him not giving a shit. I’m afraid the soy won’t work and that my CM is bad, well I know my CM is bad the doctor told me and then refused to do anything about it. “I’m not worried about your CM right now.” Ugh. But, we are going to try the soy and I am going to do my damnest to stay calm. I have an appointment with a therapist next week, maybe she can help me figure out how not to go crazy during all of this.