Going INSANE

Yeah...so...I am going completely nuts. Sitting at home for two days has just given me the opportunity to sit here and think about it CONSTANTLY. I'm going crazy! I find myself sitting here and looking up information on how more than one follie can increase you chances and what the chance of twins would be, and blah blah blah. UGGGH! I need to go back to work so I can stop thinking. I do this every frikkin month, I just can't seem to shake it. Because every month I somehow convince myself that our chances this month are better than the last, so I want to research everything. I had 2 follies and everything was perfectly on time. Last month I knew I ovulated late, so I wasn't as obsessive. I swear....this month I just can't help it! I know we all wish we could click our heels and be at 14dpo, but I am like extra crazy this month. I'm at the borderline between optimistic and ridiculous. I also think I feel more pressure this month because it is our last month of TTC. I'm on my 7th clomid cycle in a row and the twisted ovary was probably my body telling me that it has had enough. So we will take a break and I will probably try a few soy cycles and see how that works for me. *sigh* But...there's always this little voice in the back of my head saying that if clomid and IUIs didn't work then I have no chance of being successful with herbal alternatives. I don't just want this cycle to work, I need it to work. And the stress isn't helping.