Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Warning: Infertility Rant

Last night of Femara tonight. Been feeling very sore around my ovaries, so I am hoping that is good news! I'm really hoping for at least two good follies this time around. That is what I had when I got pregnant with Lily so that would really excite me. Not to mention I don't know how much longer we can do this, I dont think we could even do it next month. It was easier to make the sacrifices the first time around. If I had to drive the hour and a half to the doctor everyday I would've done it. And if I had to eat ramen and macaroni and cheese everyday, I would've done it. But having a baby completely changes everything. I can't sacrifice everything for treatments. Lily can't be dragged constantly to the doctor with me because that is a seriously long drive for her. I can't divert all our money to it because I still need to provide everything for the one that I have. And I know a lot of people try to say if you cant afford the treatments then you cant afford another child, and to you I say BULLSHIT. My cycles are running $400-$600 a month. That would be difficult on anyone. And another baby would not cost us an average of $500 a month. If someone has any financial problems trying to get pregnant people automatically begin to judge, and only a person who has been through the same thing could ever begin to understand. TTC #2 has been both easier and harder than TTC #1. Its easier because I don't feel as desperate to get pregnant. Yes I feel I want it just as bad, but I know life will go on. Before I felt like if I didn't get pregnant it was the end of the world, I wanted it so desperately. And each month I don't get pregnant it still hurts, but I dont think it hurts on the same level it used. At the same time though, it is so much harder to devote yourself to getting pregnant. There are times I need to find a babysitter so I can go to the doctor, or I have to make Lily endure the 3 hour trip to and from the doctor two days in a row because he wants to check my follicles again. And $500 a month is much harder when you are already paying for baby food, toys, wipes, formula and diapers. I knew the money would be tougher to come up with this time around, but I don't think I prepared myself for how much harder it was going to be trying to do all the same stuff with a baby. I'm hoping and praying we can get pregnant this month so we won't have to worry about treatment anymore. If we get pregnant this month my due date would be around the beginning of January, which would be exciting because I could have a new years baby. Here's hopin at least!


  1. Thank you for this post! I'm still TTC #1, but I always say it's different when you're still trying for 1 than 2, 3, etc.
    Always feels like when you have that opinion, TTC #2's, 3's get really offended even though it's not meant to be an insult. It's good to hear someone that actually gets it and understands.
    Hopefully you won't have to wait long for your 2nd little miracle :)

  2. TTC #1 was definitely harder, one of the hardest things I've ever done. I hope you won't have to try for much longer :)